Episode #447: How I Built Mommy Dentists in Business, with Dr. Grace Yum

Being a mom is hard. Being a mom, dentist, and business owner is even harder. You can't do it alone, so Kirk Behrendt brings in Dr. Grace Yum, founder and CEO of Mommy Dentists in Business, to help dentists who are moms find the community and support they need online. As the old saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. To find your village that can help make your life better, listen to Episode 447 of The Best Practices Show!

Main Takeaways:

• There will be some sacrifices being a dentist and a mom.
• Find or create your “village” if you don't have one.
• MDIB is a great resource to find a community.
• tIt’s okay to not feel okay as a new mother.
• If you're overwhelmed, hang in there!

Quotes:

• “Nothing in life that's worthwhile is easy.” (8:18—8:22)
• “You have to figure out who are the people that are going to help you because you cannot do this by yourself. It’s just a lot of work. So, whether it’s a part-time nanny, full-time nanny, whether it’s the grandparents, it takes a village. That expression is very true, and you need to figure out who your village is. And that support network is crucial to your success and your happiness.” (16:04—16:33)
• “There are days where the school might call, ‘You need to pick up your kid. She’s got a fever,’ and you're in the middle of a procedure. So, you're going to have to send a dental assistant to go pick up your kid and bring them to the office. So, there are some modifications that we all have to make and do, and sacrifices, in order to be able to do both dentistry and be a mom.” (16:56—17:22)
• “A lot of mothers have this feeling of guilt like, ‘I'm not there enough for my kid,’ or, ‘I am not present enough,’ or, ‘If I was a stay-at-home mom, my kid might be better off.’ And those are all emotions and feelings that a lot of mothers feel. That's normal. And you just have to do what's best for you. There are people like me that, I wouldn't be a good mother if I was a full-time mom. I just am not cut out to be a full-time mom. And God bless the full-time mothers because I think that's a harder job. For me, it’s easier to go to work — I have full control of my workspace — than it is to be at home full-time. And for me, I'm fulfilled, personally, with dentistry as my career, helping patients, seeing my patients and my team. That fulfills me. And if I didn't have that, then I'm not sure if staying at home while the kids are at school, I'd find something in lieu of that that would be fulfilling.” (17:23—18:26)
• “What I found was that there wasn't really a space for me to ask questions such as, ‘Oh, I just got back from maternity leave. Did your schedule change?’ or, ‘My hygienist who’s working for me, she just got back from maternity, but she needs a place to pump or nurse.’ And the comments from the men — they think they're funny — were not helpful at all. They would say things like, ‘Well, tell her to pump in the car — and clock out, by the way,’ or, ‘Tell her to not come back to work until she’s done with that,’ just things that were very short-sighted or not helpful. Not that they aren't being polite or professional. It’s just, they don't get it.” (20:53—21:42)
• “As a mom, you're at work and thinking about, ‘Okay, what am I making for dinner tonight?’ or, ‘Oh my gosh, Jimmy’s got his school play tomorrow. What do I need prepped for that?’ or, ‘Oh, the birthday party is this weekend. Did I buy the birthday gift? I need that wrapped. Oh, Christmas and Hanukkah. Oh, the play. The school.’ So, there are a gazillion things going on in a mom’s brain while she’s at work. And then, when she’s at home, she’s thinking, ‘That temporary crown that was rocking a little bit, I hope it stays on for the next two weeks. That patient who had a dry socket, I hope that he’s doing well. Oh, my phone’s ringing because I'm on-call, and little Benjamin just got whacked in the face with a baseball bat and cracked number eight and nine.’ So, you never turn off. Mothers’ brains don't ever turn off.” (22:11—23:07)
• “As moms, the brains don't shut off. And so, that's why I felt that having Mommy Dentists in Business was really important, because my life completely changed after I had a kid. So, after work, I didn't get to go to the gym and work out. After work, I didn't get to go to the grocery store and go grocery shopping and food prep. After work, I didn't get to go to CE. I didn't get that time. So, once I became a mother, my whole life changed. And nobody can identify with that unless they are a mother, whether you're an adoptive mom, a foster mom, whatever, responsible for a human being in the house, in that role.” (23:14—24:03)
• “I started the group, but it’s really the community. It’s really the group that is the glue. I am not the glue. The cloth has been cut, yes. But if you look at the quilt, it’s every single patch on the quilt that makes the quilt. I may have started the stitch, but these women have threaded it together. And that, to me, is so impressive. That, to me, is what I'm proud of.” (38:38—39:07)
• “If you are a 32-year-old young mom who has children under the age of three, hang in there. The chaos will slow down. I think the very first year of a baby’s life is the most difficult. The first 12 months are so hard . . . Because as a first-time mom, you're nervous. You don't really know what you're doing. You feel self-doubt. You feel like your body is finally coming to. So, it’s not just the baby, it’s you physically, hormonally, how you're changing and morphing.” (43:06—43:45)
• “When you're a mom, the last thing that falls into place is your self-care — the things that you did before the baby, like manicures, or going to get a massage, or even working out, exercise. You're so focused on that baby. And then, the second part is your spouse, having that relationship with your spouse. That gets thrown on the back burner. So, everyone’s focused on the baby. I think you just have to take the lens out and think, ‘Okay. It’s going to all come back together again. It just takes time.’” (44:09—44:43)
• “It’s okay to feel frantic. It’s okay to feel the way you do. I used to pump in my car when I was nursing. I would drive to work and hook up my machine and pump as I drove. I remember being in the hospital OR. I had to pump in the bathroom. I remember trying to make it work, and it’s juggling. And you're going to have like 10 bags with you because you need 10 totes to put everything in. So, those things are overwhelming. But it’s a short minute in time, in the long run, and you can get through it.” (44:48—45:22)
• “If you're 32 and you're in the thick of things, and you just want to give up and cry, cry it out. Have your cry session, and really think about how to make this work and what's doable for your sanity. And there's no right or wrong answer.” (45:23—45:38)

Snippets:

• 0:00 Introduction.
• 2:34 Dr. Yum’s background.
• 9:29 Your 30s and 40s can be a dynamic time in your life.
• 15:06 Figure out who your “village” is.
• 17:23 Being a dentist and being a mom.
• 18:53 How Dr. Yum got started with MDIB.
• 24:19 How the MDIB community grew.
• 31:19 Maintaining integrity and authenticity in a growing group.
• 36:51 The future of MDIB.
• 42:58 Advice for new mothers.
• 45:42 Books by Dr. Yum.

Reach Out to Dr. Yum:

Dr. Yum’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075730122393

Dr. Yum’s social media: @dr_mrs_boss_mom

Resources:

Mommy Dentists in Business Podcast: https://mommydibs.com/podcast/

Mommy Dentists in Business: Juggling Family and Life While Running a Business by Dr. Grace Yum: https://www.betterworldbooks.com/product/detail/Mommy-Dentists-in-Business--Juggling-Family-and-Life-While-Running-a-Business-9781942707943

Mommy Dentists in Business: Advice to My Former Self by Dr. Grace Yum: https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?isbn=1950370038&cm_sp=mbc-_-1950370038-_-all

Dr. Grace Yum Bio:

Dr. Grace Yum is a lifelong resident of the Chicago area, where she grew up in Glenview. She is a mother and a certified pediatric dentist — a certification achieved by only 5% of all dentists in the U.S. Dr. Yum is the former founder and practice owner of Yummy Dental & Orthodontics for Kids, and she is also the founder and CEO of Mommy Dentists in Business.

In addition to managing the MDIB community, Dr. Yum hosts her own podcast, Mommy Dentists in Business Podcast. With 11 complete seasons, Dr. Yum’s podcast has been in the iTunes top 100, was ranked number 3 of 15 of the top dental podcasts by Patterson Dental’s Off the Cusp publication, and has been downloaded nearly 80,000 times.

Dr. Yum has quietly become nationally recognized in her field. She has appeared and was featured on the TODAY Show on NBC, NBC Chicago as a repeat guest, Parents magazine, Parenting magazine, and Chicago Parent magazine. She has also appeared on many podcasts, with topics covering dentistry, work/life balance, and business tips for the working mom.